How to Spice Up Your Sex Life: 5 Tips & Techniques

It’s very common for a couple’s sex life to hit a low point or a bit of a rut. Many people in long-term relationships can fall into particular patterns or routines — how sex is instigated, what positions you use, what time of day you do it. But it’s important to remember that, when it comes to sexual desire, your interests and activity can fluctuate depending on what’s going on in your life and how you’re feeling.

So, what can you and your partner do to make things better? Part of the solution to a sexually unfulfilling relationship is accepting that this might not be a problem you can fix with one quick conversation, or even a day or two of consistent effort.

Since no two relationships are exactly the same, there’s no one-size-fits-all formula that you can use to have a healthy sex life.

However, there are numerous techniques that you can use to improve your sexual environment, have a more active sex life and get your sexual experience back to how it was during the early days.

We’ve listed 5 of these below, along with simple advice to help you incorporate each technique into your sex life:

Remember That You’re Separate People

This is important. Firstly, make sure that your relationship is in a good place. Relationship satisfaction can impact sexual satisfaction, and vice-versa — so ensure you are working on your relationship in general. That means improving communication and general intimacy.

You should have your own separate identities and differentiation as individuals. It doesn’t help a sex life if you are so close that you do absolutely everything together, and are practically finishing each other’s sentences.

Try New Positions

New positions are a great way to spice things up, but you don’t have to be a contortionist to find enjoyable angles. In many cases, making sex more interesting can be as easy as changing who is on top.

Different positions can stimulate different erogenous zones for both you and your partner, giving you a more pleasurable experience. Keep trying new stuff until you find some things that work for both of you.

Once you identify what you both enjoy, try making it a regular activity to breathe new life (and a dose of new excitement) into your sex life together.

Try Using Toys And Accessories For Better Sex

Not quite sure how to spice up your sex life? Toys, toys, toys are your friends. Using toys to up your game is often an absolutely positive thing for you and your partner’s sexual experience.

As with most things related to sex, there’s no one-size-fits-all plan with it comes to adding toys to your sex life.

Just like with sex positions, over time you’ll discover which toys work best to make sex a more enjoyable experience for both of you.

Modern toys, like these silicone hand and ankle cuffs, can enhance pleasure for both you and your partner during intercourse.

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Take Some Time To Explore Each Other’s Bodies

Personal and couple’s body exploration can be very pleasurable. Spend 20 minutes focusing your attention on each other — with scented candles and calm music in the background — and focus on the sensations this brings out in your body.

Try to vary the amount of pressure, or how you touch your partner — and explore every part of the body with hands, lips, oils, etc. It can be extremely sensual and beneficial to experiment with this new approach to intimacy — and can intensify pleasurable feelings.

Switch Up Your Sex Location

Give your bed a break, and initiate or suggest sex somewhere you haven’t explored yet. The couch is a safe bet, but if you’re feeling particularly naughty try the kitchen counter, dining room table or an office desk. Not only will the spontaneity send a super sexy message, but it will create a memory that you can happily relive any time you’re cooking, eating or doing work.

Hope these tips will inspire you, and you’ll try new things. Don’t forget that lack of sexual satisfaction within a partnership can cause a rift that may cause larger or more frequent issues. Remember why you love each other, and try not to let that pilot light go out. Time together should be something celebrated in new ways all the time—prioritize your love as often as you can.


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