Have Dating Apps Ruined Gay Dating?

The 21st century has introduced various technological and societal advancements, but nothing has transformed quite as drastically as the dating world. Apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge and Grindr have become so normalized that people frown when you mention you don’t use at least one of them. Some say this phenomenon has completely ruined human connections, others cannot imagine ever finding partners in another way. For our community, dating apps have become a significant part of the gay culture. Thus, we decided to list some of the positive and negative aspects of dating apps.

Good: They’re Straightforward

When using dating apps, people often declare right away what exactly it is that they’re looking for. This spares a lot of unnecessary guessing and mind reading. “I don’t know if he likes me for real or just wants to have sex”. We’ve all been there at some point. This is why it’s good and even encouraged to state your aims and preferences in your bio, or immediately when the chat starts.

Of course, it doesn’t mean there won’t be any liars or fakes. Many will be leading their match on or lie straight to their face to give a better impression or achieve their goal, whatever that may be. But still – a lot less likely to happen than in real life.

Bad: Addiction is Real

For many people, becoming addicted to easy hookups is a real concern. We probably all have that “one” friend that tells us to avoid Grindr at any cost, then goes on to meet up with someone they only matched with 2 minutes prior. While easy hookups can also very clearly happen in real life, it still takes remarkably more time and effort, which automatically makes it less likely to become an addiction. 

It’s also important to note that for most of us, the issue is rooted much deeper. If you’ve grown up without proper validation, it’s natural to end up seeking it from elsewhere. And what better context to find it than through people who are just like you, and literally give you love and affection? So, it’s totally understandable, but we still recommend healing past traumas in healthier ways to avoid falling into toxic patterns of behaviour. Love and sex are much more awesome without an unnecessary emotional package from the past.

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Good: Easier to Meet People

Meeting people, however, is generally much easier on dating apps. Imagine living as a gay person in a remote area where you don’t know anyone. Maybe you’re still closeted or surrounded by a lot of homophobia so you don’t even have other options! Or Imagine traveling to another city or country and not knowing anyone. That’s when dating apps come in especially handy. Some apps, like Bumble, feature a “looking for friends” function, if that’s all you’re looking for…

Besides, they can be useful to find specific types of people – gaymers, people with certain fetishes, followers of particular lifestyles or simply people with similar interests. For example, if you’re into ancient history, it is very unlikely that you’ll just randomly bump into someone who shares your passion. If you look for it specifically on dating apps, though, chances are much higher you’ll end up linking with someone who loves it just as much as you do, and you might find a special friend (or even partner!) for a lifetime. 

Bad: Catfishing

Catfishing in the context of dating apps means presenting an unrealistic version of yourself that doesn’t match your real appearance. It can mean edited photos, heavy use of filters or something as simple as posting old photos of yourself when you looked completely different. It’s no fun when you go on the first date and the person is nothing like the photos he used!

That said, it’s important to know the difference between catfishing and organized presentation. We all portray the best version of ourselves and there’s nothing wrong with it. Choose the best angles, wear your most fabulous clothes, bring focus on your best characteristics. If it ever comes to that, people are gonna see your morning face anyway, so show the glam you while it lasts! With our Gay Packs, you get underwear and grooming products that make you look fabulous in the realest way possible. Monthly or quarterly – the choice is yours. Pick yours today!

You can also check our tips for taking good underwear photos for dating apps!

Good: No Miscommunication

So, you met someone and instantly clicked, wanting to share every detail in your life with him? But… he just won’t text back? And not let you in on their business as much as you do? After you’ve sent paragraphs, he only reacts with a thumbs up or a LOL? He really does like you and you spend good time together, but he simply doesn’t like communicating at the same rate as you do.

Dating apps ensure right from the start that your communication needs are compatible. It can’t be ignored that social media and messaging apps are a major part of our lives today. So, if someone’s texting frequency is vastly different from yours and it’s an important factor in dating for you, you can count them out immediately to save your time and energy.

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Bad: Anonymity

We already mentioned catfishing, but another serious downside is the overall anonymous element. Many of us are completely different in the way we text and the way we actually talk in real life. Besides, unless you start sending voice notes early on, we can’t hear the other person’s voice, which can be a determining factor for many.

While most apps require verification, no one is completely protected from frauds. The person you’re chatting with might be someone completely else, simply using another person’s photos or identity. Real life encounters spare you all that drama.

We are not here to give a final verdict. Like most topics, the discussion around dating apps requires a nuanced conversation. In a world defined by platformization, it is unlikely that dating apps will ever cease to exist. Hopefully we are able to equip each other with the necessary skills to navigate the modern dating world in the healthiest way possible. 

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