Definition

gay death (uncountable)

(noun)

The point at which it is perceived a gay man has aged beyond attractiveness: usually around 25 or 30 years of age.

— Wiktionary

Just the twinks?

Recently, the phrase has become even more specific, and the death in question seems to threaten only twinks.

An example from Urban Dictionary provides context:

After turning 30, John no longer got attention from anyone and proceeded to lead a sad life. He was suffering from Twink Death.

It makes you wonder, what exactly is it that dies? The twinkle?

The proof in… straight men?

Memelords are having fun with it, using then-and-now photos of straight men like Matt Leblanc and Joe Biden to prove their point.

The most popular example used online is Leonardo Dicaprio. The ‘twink’ we once fell in love with seems to be long gone.

Paint me like one of your French girls? Uhm.. maybe it’s good Jack didn’t make it onto that door and remained just a memory!

Where does this idea stem from?

Well, it’s no surprise that modern society is obsessed with looks and scared of aging.

Psychotherapist Silva Neves says we lack a societal model of what the path of aging looks like for gay men. He suggests that due to the AIDS pandemic, younger gay men are ‘missing a generation of older men who could have been mentors and teachers.’

The findings of a study by Robert D. Schope indicate that gay men tend to be ageist, fear negative evaluation by others, and give more importance to their own physical attractiveness.

After all, many of us have grown up closeted, so life after coming out can feel like an ongoing effort to make up for lost time.

From twinks to dilfs?

Not everyone sees twink death as an ultimately bad thing. As a reaction to the meme, the jokesters started another trend: twink death is dilf birth.

(dilf – a sexually attractive older man)

Essentially, they mean when twink loses its youthful attributes, they don’t always lose their beauty altogether. Especially if a slim body gets replaced by a dad bod. For a community that otherwise loves to gatekeep, transforming from one subgroup to another seems to be accepted!

But what about those who don’t become dilfs? Should they really feel like they expired? Just cross their hearts and hope to die?

Slay! Literally.

No, it’s not gays who need to die. It’s this very concept. As more openly gay men are able to live their lives openly, and as more rights allow us a ‘normal’ lifestyle, this idea will simply fade over time, right?

Being gay is no longer only associated with gay clubs and one night stands, it’s about everything else too. It’s about building a career or a family, or any preferred lifestyle. It’s about uniqueness and openness.

And heck, if some of us want to remain forever young and still live, look and act like we’re in our 20s, we’ll cheer you on!